Hey hey heyyyyyyy!
It’s about that time again for another newsletter.
While the US was shooting off fireworks and throwing masks in the air as everything started to feel somewhat normal again, Indonesia was the complete opposite.
With corona cases skyrocketing with the new Delta variant, Indonesia implemented the strictest lockdown yet.
Although this caused many foreigners to leave Bali and head to Europe and Turkey, I still feel completely fine and safe.
There were a few uncertain moments when fear was running rampant that I questioned staying here, but I recognized that that was not my fear, but the collective’s.
My intuition knew to stay put and make the best of the situation.
And we know my intuition doesn’t lie!
My lockdown life included morning meditations with tea, reading poolside, ordering in my favorite meals, and working on my YouTube videos for ya.
That’s right. Nikki’s Travel Show is in full swing.
All of my videos on Jakarta and Jogjakarta are out, and now I plan to also incorporate more yoga and wellness videos.
My mind is chock-full of content ideas…so definitely subscribe to follow my journey for inspiration on yours.
If you have absolutely anything you want to see, holla at ya girl.
Ask and you shall receive. I make this content for me, but also obviously for you to learn more about different sites, places to visit, wellness tips, and yoga sequences.
Besides being cooped up at home with the lockdown, I got to sneak down south to Uluwatu for a friend’s birthday for two nights and then up north to Amed for a weekend.
So I guess I wasn’t REALLYYYY locked down, which I am grateful for.
Amed was a dream.
I learned just how freeing a chill day with no work or stress surrounded by good company can be.
We woke up early to watch the sunrise out on the water, and while I was swimming with the bioluminescence I thought about how this is the exact opportunity I dreamt about while I was strolling the streets of Chicago.
Surreal that I made this dream a reality.
Amed is a relaxing town that has the calmest waters for swimming, snorkeling and laying out in the sand all day.
I spent three days just sitting on the beach doing nothing but eating great food and enjoying the views.
I wanted to stay for a month. And now my brain is calculating how I can spend more time up there and when I can clear my calendar to return.
These dreamlike moments rejuvenate me, and I keep them stored in a little folder in my brain for when life just feels way too hard.
Because as we know, this life is a rollercoaster.
This past month has been a lot of me going up against my inner critic and imposter syndrome.
I feel called to share this journey on a greater scale and help people who feel similarly to “past Nikki.”
Past Nikki was a seemingly happy and confident person on the outside, yet on the inside she was ripping herself to shreds and couldn’t pinpoint why she was so miserable and unfulfilled.
Perhaps you can relate?
That you feel like you’re going through the motions of life and you SHOULD be happy, yet for some reason you feel this looming gray cloud ALL THE TIME.
You can’t shake it.
Even on happy, joyous, sunny days, the cloud doesn’t allow you to fully feel the vibrancy of these enriching emotions.
I feel you. I was there.
I know exactly what you are going through, and I’ve learned a lot about how to dissipate this cloud.
Nowadays my life feels RICH.
Not necessarily financially (that’s coming I know it is ;) )…. but in joy, love, and connection.
I feel the most connected to myself than I ever have in my life.
I am kinder to myself, which ultimately allows me to have deeper connections with others.
This doesn’t mean I am a smiling robot 100% of the time.
I cry a lot. And feel a lot of pain in old habits and thought patterns.
Yet, I practice feeling the emotions and letting them pass.
Even through my tears and sobs, I realized I am genuinely happy.
I am fully content.
Because I am living a life that is authentically mine.
I stuck to my guns and carved out a life that I wholeheartedly want to live every morning.
It’s not someone else’s idea of what they want my life to look like. It’s completely mine…with of course, the guidance and support from others.
And that my friends feels reallllyyyy freaking good.
It feels authentic. It feels truly aligned.
It feels like a freaking 180.
Because it is.
I feel renewed. I’m on my own side now.
And when the dark cloud comes in (because it always will), I now have an umbrella and the tools to deal with it.
This isn’t to say I am a perfect human who is doing life right and everyone else is damned.
Oh goodness, no.
I still have plenty of things I am working through.
The difference is now, I am excited about this trajectory of my life because I know the dark cloud doesn’t have to taint every moment.
And if I could pull myself out of what felt like a very dark black hole, I know it is possible for others to do the same.
I want to build a ladder to help people who feel similarly to how I did climb out.
This path seems to be shaping up for me because after I went to Amed, I returned to be a volunteer yoga teacher at Bali Silent Retreat.
There, I met an incredible woman doing exactly what I want to be doing SUCCESSFULLY.
I admired everything about her.
She put it in perspective that my dreams are legitimately achievable.
I am not crazy for chasing them.
Then, as if the universe wanted to prove this to me, she gifted me a $4,000 course.
She gave me her login details to learn how to create and launch a course from scratch.
And this is what I am putting my head down and working on.
The framework to how I pulled myself up and out of the misery and moved away from the dark cloud.
I am going to launch a course on how I found fulfillment, contentment, joy and inner peace in my life so that you can find it too.
It's not telling you what to do.
It's helping you navigate your mindset and connect deeper to yourself so you too have the tools to weather any storm.
If you are interested in this course, please let me know ASAP because I am looking for people to give the early bird pre-launch special to. :)
If you've gotten this far in the newsletter, that means you are a superfan...AND MY HEARTS BURSTS WITH JOY AND LOVE FOR YOU.
Thank you thank you thank you x100000 for your support on my journey.
I appreciate you more than you know.
Much love forever & always.
Until next time.